No Offense, but…
I confess: when people start their sentences to me with “No offense, but..”, I immediately take offense. In fact, I take more offense than if I wasn’t given the little disclaimer.
For the party giving the disclaimer, who we shall refer to as “the offender”, the perspective is much different. It seems that the two magic words “no offense” immediately frees them from any liability that may result from the deliverance of the offensive statement, so to speak.
From as subtle as:
“No offense, but I think you should sit out this game.”
to as crude as:
“No offense, but your artwork is terrible!”
Well, the statements certainly send the message across; you’re a liability to the team and your artwork sucks. Now let’s remove the disclaimers:
“I think you should sit out this game.”
“Your artwork is terrible!”
Who delivers the more devastating blow: the cocky offender, or the honest one?
Sometimes, the disclaimer is appended after the offender’s statement instead:
“I think you should sit out this game… no offense.”
“Your artwork is terrible!” — “..no offense by the way.”
It’s as if the offender regretted speaking out so harshly, and slapped on the “no offense” to justify their remark.
Let’s face it, the “no offense” disclaimer is offensive at best… no pun intended?
5 Responses to “No Offense, but…”
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Charlie B
Said this at 11:03am:“I’m not trying to be mean, but what you are doing is absolutely wrong, I don’t know why you would do such a thing?” This sentence above is an attempt to do a good thing, but the first part of the sentence removes the emphasis and therefore makes it a weak sentence.
Why don’t we intrinsically speak our minds? What is so wrong with offending a person here and there? Sometimes you have to be to get your point across! Problem is we assume that because this person is confronting you and telling you that you are wrong, they believe their concern stretches deeper into the situation to make you think they hate you; they don’t, you are being a dick.
Is not the point of life to make yourself and others better? After all, if life isn’t getting better, it can only get worse, and who wants to live day to day at a plateau with only the possibility to go lower and lower. You can’t go up if you are always pussy-footing around being nice all the time.
I have recently started to do what I want, say what I feel, and to be open to offense. This doesn’t mean we like to do like this, really, I am sick of that uneasy dissonant feeling inside you get when you don’t do what you feel like doing.
Say what you want, but remember to remind the person of your intentions. If you intend on being an ass, staple your lips together, but if you want to help, constructive criticism is always accepted.
myminpins
Said this at 11:48am:Just wanted to comment that it’s very refreshing to see such good English on a blog site - not that I read many blogs - and that your subject is very entertaining. “no offense but” is a very good point!!! LOL
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